I am blessed to live in a time when we care about mental health. Ok mostly, sometimes, depending on… I also have the privilege to have learnt about healthy coping and mental health support tools.
A lot of times, it feels as if everyone and their cousin’s cousin is either depressed, anxious and or others. Some will call it fake and others will call it a fad. Call it what you like, but there are people out here suffering inside with scars of a known or unknown trauma.
I am one of those people. There was a time I thought that it was better to not be here. It was like at the market when you pick up meat at 633kes but then you see the same same meat but for 631kes. So you return the 633kes pack and take the other. I was the 633kes. In my mind, I would be doing everyone a service by remaining on the shelf because it is a sound decision.
So what changed? What shifted? What happened? Yoga happened. Support from my family happened. Addressing my hang-ups happened. Doing the work happened. Full disclosure, This is not the cheat sheet to cure you of all your problems or struggles. It is a PSA that you are not alone. Joy is possible, and healing is possible.
In April, I went to Vipassana. A 10-day silent meditation retreat. You are with your own thoughts for the duration. It was there that I started to be experientially aware of my own BS. Seeing where I was not present, where I was negotiating myself out of taking care of myself. Where I was being ruled by fear and wanting to present this persona that I thought was more palatable. Seeing how I had taken my yoga practice for granted. I made a decision to get out of it. To work at it. To live honoring the gifts available.
#spoileralert At one of the sittings, S. N. Goenka tells a story of 3 boys. One mother sends her son to the shop with 10 rupees and a bottle to buy oil. On his way back he drops the bottle and half the oil pours out. He gets home crying that he has lost the oil and his mother comforts him.
Another mother sends her son to the shop with 10 rupees and a bottle to buy oil. On his way back he drops the bottle and half the oil pours out. He gets home celebrating that he saved half the oil and his mother smiles at him.
Yet another mother sends her son to the shop with 10 rupees and a bottle to buy oil. On his way back he drops the bottle and half the oil pours out. He gets home and tells his mother what happened. He then wakes up the next day and goes to work to earn 5 rupees. And with it, he went to buy oil and presents it to his mother. Vipassana boy, Goenka calls him.
Recognizing what is, for what it is, not as we hope it won’t be or as we hope it should be then acting accordingly. Easier said than done yet completely worth the effort.
Take care of yourself, with grace and accountability. Self care is doing effortless things, it is also doing things that require the effort. Because why, because you are worth the effort! #traumainformedyoga.
See you when I see you.
Julie.
An Alleged Yogi.
Recent Comments