The year was 2017. Amboseli. In the middle of what my best friend, Sharon, calls vaporising. Read Africa Yoga Project 200hr Teacher training. She named it that because, in that environment, you can really tune in without any distractions. Anyhuuuu, Here I am in Warrior one, precariously perched on signage. I felt like a warrior. I was a warrior. Today, I am a warrior. I had all the psyche to keep going to my mat to practice and practice teaching. I was excited, dreamy. Honeymoon period type deal. I thought the “feeling” would last forever.
Cut to April 2020, the 3 year anniversary of this photo. That ka feeling is long gone. The novelty of the experience has worn off. When I was at teacher training/Vaporising, I had discovered a sense of purpose. Stepping away from the day to day. There was clarity, acceptance and breakthrough. Here I was, dealing with COVID 19. Work. Family. Change of pace. Uncertainty of an income. Running a home. Trying to retain a sense of normalcy. All the while completely neglecting my practice. The tomorrow syndrome had taken hold. I kept postponing and procrastinating with my practice.
I have said before that Yoga does not magically make all your problems disappear. For me, Yoga is one of those times and spaces where you can take a moment to recenter and re-align. The aha moment came when I was cleaning up and I noticed actual dust on my mat. I cleaned it and laid it out to dry. I then went back into the house and did my practice on the floor.
Why? My feelings of the training were gone, but what I learnt stuck. The transformation that I went through during my training clicked. I was waiting for a certain environment or time when I thought it best to practice. In that mindset, everything is on hold. Even things that are important to me. Waiting. Waiting for a special occasion to wear an outfit. Waiting for someone else to try something to see if it is right for you. Waiting to earn more money to start saving,. Waiting for validation. Waiting for the “best time” to reach out to someone.
There are times when waiting is valid. And it is not when you have it in you to make the move. I have a place to practice. I have knowledge of the practice. That day, on the floor, I had a breakthrough. It was different from the training and just as powerful. I have the power to create an environment that is empowering to me. You have the power to create an environment that is empowering to you. One of my teachers, Paige, once said. The answer to how, is YES. Don’t wait. Don’t wish for it. Work for it.
See you when I see you.
Julie.
An alleged yogi.
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